things you don't need to know....

that may or may not be interesting...

+Joe Stowell is the new president of the Christian bubble University I dropped out of a few years ago.

+Saw a band from Norway the other day called Ungdomskulen. They were quite a bit of fun.

+Also saw Andy Davis.

+Whenever I see live music of any sort I remember why its so important to do.

+I've been on the hunt for a pair of cowboy boots for a year, and I still haven't found them. I can see them in my head, and I know they must exist. But I'm not picky or anything.

+Maybe I should call them "cowgirl" instead of "cowboy". Or I should be PC and call them "cowperson", which is my favorite misuse of PC-ness since the whole meaning of the word falls apart entirely.

+Got a killer haircut from Dusan the brilliant, followed by an impromptu shoot. Pics soon.

+Demolished the power adapter and input on my computer. This is not an exciting development.

A

Ambivalent.

Anxious.

Antsy.


This post was brought to you by the letter A.

here's one of many reasons why I have constant travel bug

First, you should know that the DiCocco's are officially en route to Johannesburg. I adore that family.

Second, you should know about my friend Jen. She's entrepreneurial and creative and adventurous. She's traveling the world for a year doing some humanitarian aid and documenting, and she's on the first leg of her trip in Peru. She's graciously helping me out with something I'm working on, and upon reading her blog I found out that she's living in a tent...in the middle of nowhere...in Peru....and they don't even have proper plumbing...but somehow has wireless internet...and has the grace to help me with something totally irrelevant to her life. I ended my last email to her with:

"so I'm wondering....are you writing to me from a tent?!"

Her response, "haha yes, I'm writing to you from a tent."

That's it.

If I were Jen, I would have been like, "YEAH and I'm covered in dust and I don't have a toilet seat and I pour buckets of water over my head to take a "shower" and i don't like tents, blah blah blah blah..."

Because look, this is her world:


chincha, peru from jen on Vimeo. (video embedded)



Jen is rad. You can support her.

call the cops

The other day I was wandering through a bookstore in Arlington, waiting to meet my friend for lunch. While I was there I stumbled across that poem I posted here (but am too lazy to link to) a couple days ago, and I stumbled across another fantastic poem.

This one blew me away, along with the other one. These pieces are raw and heart wrenching.

Without further ado...


With That Moon Language

Admit something:

Everyone you see, you say to them, "Love me."

Of course you do not do this out loud, otherwise someone would call the cops.

Still, though, think about this, this great pull in us to connect.

Why not become the one who lives with a full moon in each eye

that is always saying,

with that sweet moon language,

what every other eye in this world is dying to hear?

-Hafiz

heart support

you've probably heard me plug this already...but i'm proud of my heart support friends. check out family force 5's heart support tour and support the heart.

this is what I needed to hear

A Brief for the Defense

by Jack Gilbert


Sorrow everywhere. Slaughter everywhere. If babies
are not starving someplace, they are starving
somewhere else. With flies in their nostrils.
But we enjoy our lives because that's what God wants.
Otherwise the mornings before summer dawn would not
be made so fine. The Bengal tiger would not
be fashioned so miraculously well. The poor women
at the fountain are laughing together between
the suffering they have known and the awfulness
in their future, smiling and laughing while somebody
in the village is very sick. There is laughter
every day in the terrible streets of Calcutta,
and the women laugh in the cages of Bombay.
If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
we lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.
If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
we should give thanks that the end had magnitude.
We must admit there will be music despite everything.
We stand at the prow again of a small ship
anchored late at night in the tiny port
looking over to the sleeping island: the waterfront
is three shuttered cafés and one naked light burning.
To hear the faint sound of oars in the silence as a rowboat
comes slowly out and then goes back is truly worth
all the years of sorrow that are to come.


When I finished reading it, my jaw was on the ground. Its exactly the internal battle I've always struggled with--to enjoy while knowing the rest of the world does not live like I do.

This is what I needed to hear a long time ago. This is what I needed this time last year when I was in South Africa. It takes me the closest I've ever been to reconciling this whole thing.

I'm looking through some photos from that trip, and see that poem embodied in almost every photograph.









We must admit there will be music despite everything.

the artist's way

I have this book called The Artist's Way. A book to help you discover/recover/heal/stretch your creativity.

It sits on my dresser, and it taunts me.

I avoid it.

Yesterday I was out to lunch with my friend, Lisa, who after much insistence persuaded me to agree to attend an Artist's Way group that she is leading. The first meeting was either incidentally or coincidentally, last night.

I did go, but I was a half hour late. I'm a firm believer in subconscious sabotage, and that's exactly what happened and exactly why I was late.

The book is based off of a 12 week recovery program. If this were AA, I'd be the cynical one to flake out. Or not admit I have a problem.

After giving an introduction to the group, Lisa asked, "How do you all feel? What kind of fears are you having?"

I shared my resistance to the book that I've always had, which is: how could a workbook possibly propel creativity? All things workbook feel very canned. I'm not sure that "workbook" and "creativity" are allowed to reside within the same sentence. And when they do, its like we're just asking for the universe to collapse. I told the group I feel like doing this class is me voluntarily stepping into a box. I don't want someone to tell me how to be creative.

But they are a gracious group, because even though I'm sure everyone was thinking "Then why did you even come Miss Arrive-Thirty-Minutes-Late?", but no one said it.

My resistance was met with encouragment.

"These are just tools, the book doesn't force you to use them."

Tools? The room just got hotter. And smaller.

"The book just guides you, you create the journey."

Sweaty. Itchy neck.

"It just helps add some structure to your outlet."

Panic.

"Lets all turn to the next page and sign the contract that we're committed to this."

The window was really shaping up in my mind as a viable exit strategy at this point.

Did I sign? Absolutely not.

Will I go back?

Absolutely.

Oh how I love new friends who allow me to honestly voice my (arguably) dramatic, but totally genuine concerns.

thanks

good friends are priceless.

they call me out on things.

and better yet,

they call things out of me.

its one thing to be called out on something. its another thing for someone to see something in you and call it out of you.

there's been a lot of that lately.

thanks.

xo.

you should be in my kitchen

because i'm chopping romaine and its a dance party.

I always forget about the music channels on TV....and occasionally I rediscover them.

They blow my mind. I love them.

Lets just say I'm listening to the Arena Rock station.....flipping back and forth to 90s, 80s, and get this....a station called Old Skool Rap.

Yeah, I know. That's why I said you should be here.

i am a taxi

Three days in a row I dropped three different people off at the airport. On Friday I go two different times to pick two of them back up.

Needless to say, this does nothing to curb my antsy nature.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am antsy.

I've been in VA for 3 weeks now again, and I'm ready to roll. Nothing against VA. I like it here, in fact. Its nice.

Plans for NJ/NY for Feb and March...which I'm totally stoked about. It can't come soon enough. I love my dear Mindy and want to be there NOW.

April....lots of ideas for April. Hoping they take place clear West of here.

May....family vacation in Florida....which I'm SO glad for. I miss my brothers like freakin crazay. Yeah, I said it. Freakin crazay.

Oh, and I think I'm going to be in Ohio this weekend?

Hm...this is terribly random, and lets be honest, irrelevant.

Thus is the nature of my thought process right now. Antsy and distracted. Sometimes I just have to stop and laugh at the amount of crazy disconnected thoughts that stumble through my mind. I used to think I was a relatively focused person, but I'm accepting the fact that this is entirely untrue. I think I had the word "focused" confused with "one-track minded".

Totally not synonymous.

*side note...while writing this blog my mom came to me and said, "How do you feel about driving me to Maryland on Thursday morning?"

Taxi.

i changed my blog name again.

as i often do.

new season, new name.

new things.

xo.
julie

BUT....scratch that....changed it back.....apparently messing up your feeds for those who subscribe.....i'll try again later.

twitter, I surrender to you.

I've been lurking long enough on Twitter to warrant actually signing up...but its been a small battle. I'm stubborn and decided I wasn't going to sign up.

But lets be honest, it was inevitable.

Finally I said, "Fine, if twitter.com/juliebelle is available, I'll sign up."

Someone always gets my name before I do. I have a problem with that.

This morning I decided to check if it was taken.

Not taken.

I had no choice.

I had to do it.

I mean, I can't forfeit any more url's to one more girl on this planet.

Part of the reason I didn't sign up before is because I don't know a lot of people who use Twitter. Midwest, you need to do a better job representing. Hop on these things.

Its fuuuuun.

Come sign up so there's more meaning to me being on Twitter, other than being selfish about finally claiming the unadulterated url.

Oh, and for those of you who think this is me getting one step closer to Facebook. Think again.

Don't get any big ideas. Never gonna happen.


(kudos to you who caught that radiohead love.)

others are getting low...

"The perichoresis of the Godhead is the same dance that we long for in each other. It is just that when I am doing the waltz, you are doing the tango, and others are getting low."


This brilliance brought to you by my dear friend, Jess. You can thank her here.

where have you been?

Because the party has been on the east coast all week.
Allow me to introduce you to the party.

Old friend....Daley Hake, a rock & roll soul who tells the camera what to do.

New friends....meet: Dusan Grante (left) my newfound stylist whose sense of style will make you question yours in the best possible way.
meet Chris Kim (right) my new best friend from Centreville.

Go here to see more genius of these two cats from Daley.

what's the point of living in VA

if it snows like its Michigan?

well not quite like Michigan, but it reminds me of it too much.

too lazy and uninspired by the snow to take a picture. use your imagination.

look who i found...

....wandering around Centreville.

Daley Hake.

It snowed here today. Booooo.


In other news, that cd I bought yesterday is pretty great. Check it out.

.

Today I went to Barnes & Noble to buy Andy Davis' new album.

Also, I've been mildly obsessed with a particular bunch of trees and some power lines about a mile from my house, and I finally stopped to check them out.
I think they're cool.

fav

You're welcome.

its nice here.

Weather is a big deal. Its kind of a cheesy topic of conversation, but there's a reason we talk about it so much. It has such a giant influence on our demeanor. We are connected to our world.

This being said, oh how good it is for the soul to not live in west Michigan.

According to this article, Grand Rapids ties Syracuse as the fifth cloudiest city in the continental US.

Wooooooo.

The sunny cities....CA, AZ, NV.....of course.

Here? Its nice.

The sun is pouring into my room....and it rained yesterday....that's just about right.

amooooor

I rediscovered some more music on my iPod that I had forgotten about....this particular artist I haven't thought about for quite some time. Have you heard of him? His name is Alejandro Sanz.

I got into his music when I was living in Cholula. I remember buying his cd at Walmart in Puebla, as it were.

Yes, that's the one.

Judging from the photo, you may assume that he's just some Justin Timberlake gone latino.

But you would be wrong, my friend.

His music is actually kind of a Brian McKnight (stay with me) 30% less R&B and 30% more Spanish. And he writes poetry. The love songs of all love songs. Painful fairytales. People don't write songs like that in English. EVAR. And the problem with his songs is that (in my opinion) they translate to English quite terribly. They either sound cheesy or creepy. I don't think English was built for poetry...it clearly wasn't built for romantics.

Our "romantic" music is something between boyz ii men and Savage Garden.

But get this:

Quisiera ser el dueno del pacto de tu boca
Quisiera ser el aire que escapa de tu risa
Quisiera ser la sangre que envuelves con tu vida
Quisiera ser el sueno que jamas compartirias


Que romantico, no?

And if that was boring for you, I'm sure you can turn on the radio right now and catch Nickleback on your local rock station.

playlist

A few months ago I made a playlist that I titled "Don't Be Jaded".

Its SUCH a good mix, I just re-realized.

I hadn't listened to it in forever, because I have experienced compounding problems with iTunes that I haven't necessarily addressed properly.

The iTunes problems go something like this:
Once upon a time I had a Dell where my iTunes library lived and had another small library on my Mac at work, but now I don't have that Dell and have my old iTunes library on my external hard drive but the library is too big to fit onto my *sleepy Mac, so I started building my library onto the few files that I had from work (considering that's where the Beatles, Sigur Ros, Album Leaf, Arcade Fire, Radiohead, and Mute Math are and its all I listen to anyway), and also my iPod doesn't talk to my Mac since it was formatted for the Dell, and I didn't know where my iPod cord was to charge it ever so I haven't used my iPod for months until I got a dock for Christmas, so now I have my iPod back in service and I just found this "new" playlist on it from my old music library and I LOVE IT.

*breathe!*

The point of that being: Don't Be Jaded is one fantastic playlist.

Here's the breakdown:

Finding Your Feet Again, Denison Witmer
Track 12 (ha), David Crowder (its been a long time)
Deliver Me, David Crowder
Crimson, Nicole Nordeman
Hold On, Nicole Nordeman (so many times I talk about these two amazing songs)
The Heart of Life, John Mayer
Home, The Cinematics
Wheel, John Mayer
Trees, Sleeping at Last (I went through a CRAZY SAL phase)
Stall Out, Mute Math (haven't gotten over this yet)
Hold On, Magnet
Human, John McLaughlin
Good Love Is On the Way, John Mayer (so I like him a bit)
Finding Your Feet Again, Denison Witmer

Good, right?

...to add to that...

Maybe I should finally expand my ideas about Convergence (again, my artist/creative community/church). I've learned from Seth Godin that I shouldn't apologize before delivering information--and I agree--however, let this serve as an unnecessary disclaimer that this may or may not be very exciting for all of you. That being said...

I was reading over my last post, and didn't like the way point C sounded. I think its because whenever I've heard words like that used in the past, I just assume its coming out of the mouth of a well-intentioned yet hip-to-the-jive pastor. I say hip-to-the-jive to make a point, that not only does it not make sense to say, but its also really lame to say. Just painting the picture for you. Hopefully that obscure way of painting it is serving its purpose.

To state the obvious: every church has its own lingo. While this isn't necessarily a bad thing, it usually becomes one. It starts out as a normal and expected facet to any place that has an environment--all offices, industries, homes, friends, you name it- have their own lingo. Somehow in the church it gets taken to the next level and words suddenly become currency...like if you can somehow fit the popular lingo into your sentence it creates value and even has a decent interest rate, too. It starts to remind me of some pop-lingo on CNN lately: "Change!" "Hope!". See what I mean? Innately, nothing wrong with either. But now its just currency. (Although inflation is really getting the best of it in that case....but lets not go there.)

What I love about what I've found at Convergence is that I'm pretty sure there is no lingo. Seriously. When my pastor says something like "open up the space for creativity" he doesn't mean anything other than exactly that. He doesn't formulate his sentences to ring the right way in the listening artists' ears. He is entirely unmoved that he phrased it the way he did. There's no currency. He is not hip-to-the-jive. He's just real. You can tell by his vocal inflection. He's just talking. He's not trying to instill his lingo into our brains, or his belief of his lingo into our brains, and he's not trying to sell us anything.

In short: he's not marketing our own church back at us.

The lack of lingo.

Other reasons why I am enjoying Convergence:

The attitude of curiosity.
The smallness.
The total lack of glamor.

And

There are lots of old people. By lots, I mean probably like 10, but that's a lot considering there are only 30ish people to begin with.

These old people are something special. How many people over the age of 70 do you know that would be excited about regularly supporting and gathering with a church of artists?

These old folks could put a hippy in her place.

randomness

A. I went downtown today and made myself go without the company of my camera and iPod. I recommend it.

B. I hate iPhoto. Its a horrible program, I don't care what you might say to convince me otherwise.

C. I was reminded on Sunday why I enjoy gathering with the people at Convergence (the artist/creative community/church in Arlington). Without going into detail, here's a direct quote from one of the pastors during a discussion about the direction of Convergence this year. He said that as a church, we want to "move away from a rational, more logical structure to something that really opens the space for creativity."

Yes and yes.

visual synopsis

here is a brief visual synopsis of some of my time in December, since I've been writing kind of long blogs as of late.


I liked this place for multiple reasons, including the rad wallpaper.
Grand Rapids was cold. What are you gonna do.

Christmas in Cinci.
Caden's first Christmas. He's ridiculously cute.
chicago: jess.
chicago: john hancock building.

oh, and on top of all that, we went to the Pistons last week.

everything is back on the table. still.

"That's the thing about human life--there's no control group, no way to ever know how any of us would have turned out if any variables had been changed."


I love that and I hate that all at once.





(From Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert)

observations

+People in Detroit drive HUGE vehicles. Some things you don't notice until you leave and then come back. This is one of those things.

+Sunshine is amazing. Some things you don't realize you are missing to the extent that you are until you have it. This is what happens when you move from Grand Rapids to DC.

+I'm beginning to believe that if you aren't falling down it means you aren't taking big enough risks.

+Detroit Pistons fans are NOISY. This is another thing you aren't aware of until you go to an away Pistons game in DC and feel like you're at a golf match. No kidding.

+Barack Obama is a phenomenal speaker. I was watching his last speech at the caucus and when he was done, I realized I was staring at the TV with my mouth open.

+DC's metro is a hundred times nicer than NYC's and Chicago's. Its actually pretty inside. No signs of urine or vomit, even.

+I'm just truly discovering Craigslist for the first time. Its a totally ridiculous website, but somehow I like it. New York's Craigslist is mass chaos, and I like it even more.

+Irregardless is not a word. It makes no sense. Conversely, if it is a word, it is used incorrectly almost 100% of the time, regardless of its actual meaning.

+Sign up for this webinar to be inspired and to jumpstart your creative/business mind.

+I have my first writing assignment and deadline. I haven't had a deadline since college. And that's just because the syllabus said so. More on this later.

+I hate the word "syllabus". And why are they always printed on color paper? And why is it always seafoam green?!?


That's all for now.

Oh, Mindy had a bridal shower in Detroit last week.

My eyes match Mindy's dress, which is a nice touch.

And here's a pic of Jess and I at Mutemath 3 months ago, only she just emailed me the pics today.

everything is back on the table.

Finally back in VA. What a crazy fun month December was.

Welcome to 2008.

Do you make New Year's Resolutions?

I don't usually. But I have spent some time brainstorming about what I hope for my life in this next year. I can't call them goals, because as soon as they're labeled "goals" I'll start feeling really negatively toward them and sabotage any chance of them being realized. So I call them ideas. Dreams. Its better that way.

The only resolution I recall ever making and succeeding in was the one I made last year to go meat-free for the month of January. Most of you know that I never went back to meat. You should try it.

My posture for 2008 will hopefully look something like this:

Travel. Love. Hope. Give.

Risk. Be curious. Try. Open every door you walk past. Change your mind.

Say yes.

Be fierce with life.

And as always....the only justice is love. Today is the most interesting day.

Thanks for sticking around.
Julie