that reminds me....

The title of my last post reminds me of a dream I had last night....What a crazy dream. I blame the movie "The Pianist" as being the catalyst of my dream. Granted, I watched that movie a couple weeks ago, so I suppose the resulting nightmare is a bit late. But nevertheless, I blame that movie.

In the dream I was at some school (that was in a large beautiful cathedral) and some terrible militia had begun to take over the country and also decided to infiltrate our school. The militia men would walk around our classroom and pick someone at random to answer a question. If you got the question wrong, they would kill you on the spot. Long story short, I answered a question wrong, so they shot me and killed me. Isn't that strange? They always say that if you die in your dreams then you die in real life at the same moment....anyway, looks like that theory is wrong. In fact, the dream kept going after I got killed. Yes that's right, for lack of a better explanation, I "stole" the body of someone else in the class and was simply alive again. (more precisely I think it was "The Pianist Meets Joe Black") I think I ended up dying at least twice in that dream, and woke up when I was in my third body and it was my turn to answer a question (and from the way things were going, would have likely resulted in me dying again).

I know it sounds quite morbid, but I think I've figured it out. I think its a mixture of two different ideas that I've been thinking through, not to mention just part of the fact that I've had nightmares my whole life on a regular basis (you're all thumbing through the yellow pages now to schedule an appointment for me with a local psychologist...its ok, give me a minute). But here are the two things. First of all, The Pianist is the guilty party to blame for the violence and the militia portion of the dream. If you haven't seen that movie, its about a pianist (oddly enough) that survives the Holocaust. Its a brutal film. Second of all, I've been thinking about the idea of how fake we all are...how we all have lots of different masks and identities that come out at certain times (or always stay on). We all have them, there's no denying it. So recently I've been on a quest to eliminate as much "fake" from me as I can, and become as whole and real as possible. Its not as easy as it sounds, although it doesn't really sound that easy if you ask me. Anyway, in the dream I jump from one body to the next, and each one keeps getting killed, while I somehow manage to survive. I think its just the narrowing down of the pretend Julies and trying to figure out which Julie I'm meant to live in.

I worked on recording a song this past weekend, which is basically the embodiment of this whole idea of eliminating the fake and really living life. Its going to be a sweet song, and I usually am not so prone to speaking so highly of my own music. But I'm really feeling this one. Its gonna be a killer. Very poor choice of irony there....