slow it down.
Last week while in Cincinnati, my brother Matt and I started writing a song. He wrote most of the music part, and I worked on some words. I'm always surprised at what I write about when I write lyrics, because it never ends up being about what I feel like I'm "inspired" to write about. It's like my subconscious comes out and says, "No actually, this is what's really on your mind." (LOLCAT translation: Ur doin it wrong.)
The song ended up being about how love is slow.
Most of the circles I've ever run in have been ones where there is tremendous pressure to find love. And marry it. Asap.
Case in point:
At Cornerstone University, and likely many other educational institutions, there is a phenomenon that occurs every year: The Senior Scramble.
Here's how it happens. A student who is a senior in college goes to bed one night in a relatively mentally stable condition, and then wakes up the next day in total panic. This weird radar gets switched on and they go on the hunt for.........SPOUSE. And they will not stop until they find one.
Because if you haven't found someone to marry by the time you're 21 then you might as well fall off the face of the planet because surely your life is over.
Yes. OVER.
You. Have. Failed.
In all seriousness, this actually does occur.
And to be honest, I hardly know anyone who got married young and didn't severely regret it. This last year I've heard confessions of massive mistakes. When you open your brokenness to people, it grants them permission to do the same. I've heard admission of grand error. When you allow people see the death in your own life, they trust you with theirs.
We're all the same. No one wants to be alone. We're better together.
We are better together. But not when we push it.
I'm tired of being told to feel anxious about it. I'm tired of feeling pressure and I'm tired of people having to make decisions that will cause them pain.
One thing I learned from reading Eat, Pray, Love was this: let your intention be freedom from useless suffering.
It seems so obvious, but it's not all that often that I actually do that. I've learned as of late that this is indeed possible. You really can choose whether or not you'll sit and torture yourself with the same old recurring thoughts. You really can choose how to respond to things.
Like I constantly say...the good news about judgment is that you can choose to live under it, or you can choose to live outside of it.
So let's do humanity a favor and stop putting pressure on each other to be a certain way or to do certain things. Let's slow it down.
Because how beautiful is a love that is slow...and unforced...and unhurried...
The song ended up being about how love is slow.
Most of the circles I've ever run in have been ones where there is tremendous pressure to find love. And marry it. Asap.
Case in point:
At Cornerstone University, and likely many other educational institutions, there is a phenomenon that occurs every year: The Senior Scramble.
Here's how it happens. A student who is a senior in college goes to bed one night in a relatively mentally stable condition, and then wakes up the next day in total panic. This weird radar gets switched on and they go on the hunt for.........SPOUSE. And they will not stop until they find one.
Because if you haven't found someone to marry by the time you're 21 then you might as well fall off the face of the planet because surely your life is over.
Yes. OVER.
You. Have. Failed.
In all seriousness, this actually does occur.
And to be honest, I hardly know anyone who got married young and didn't severely regret it. This last year I've heard confessions of massive mistakes. When you open your brokenness to people, it grants them permission to do the same. I've heard admission of grand error. When you allow people see the death in your own life, they trust you with theirs.
We're all the same. No one wants to be alone. We're better together.
We are better together. But not when we push it.
I'm tired of being told to feel anxious about it. I'm tired of feeling pressure and I'm tired of people having to make decisions that will cause them pain.
One thing I learned from reading Eat, Pray, Love was this: let your intention be freedom from useless suffering.
It seems so obvious, but it's not all that often that I actually do that. I've learned as of late that this is indeed possible. You really can choose whether or not you'll sit and torture yourself with the same old recurring thoughts. You really can choose how to respond to things.
Like I constantly say...the good news about judgment is that you can choose to live under it, or you can choose to live outside of it.
So let's do humanity a favor and stop putting pressure on each other to be a certain way or to do certain things. Let's slow it down.
Because how beautiful is a love that is slow...and unforced...and unhurried...
posted by Julie at
9:08 AM
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