i had a moment.

Here's an excerpt from a recent journal entry of mine:

"Looking back, the whole afternoon just feels like a figment of my imagination. I think its because the whole time I was totally engaged and totally unaware of my existence…Just comfortable, enjoying myself, living. Maybe that’s why my memory of it is somehow clear, but almost fictitious feeling--maybe that’s what its like when you recall something that you were fully present for. The things I’d usually remember when I’m telling myself that I exist are different than the things that I remember when I’m unaware and fully present."

I had a Lawrence Kushner moment.